Kathryn Kuhlman- I am Older Now God, and It is Harder Now
How many times I have wished I could go back in time not just to correct mistakes I made and wrong roads I took but also to change how I did things. Over the years, I have learned so much, but I am not the young man that I was all those years ago. Now, I am not old, but back when I was younger, it was definitely easier in many ways. I think of Abraham and:
“And not being weak in faith, he did not consider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old), and the deadness of Sarah’s womb.”
Romans 4: 19
Year after year, Abraham watched as he aged and got weaker, and the promise still had not come. Kathryn Kuhlman said:
In that early morning hour, weary in body, for I had had only a little rest, I found myself weeping, my tears falling on my open Bible. Alone in the house I looked up and spoke audibly to my Heavenly Father, just as though I could see Him. I asked: “Why didn’t You allow all of this to happen to me when I was sixteen or seventeen years old? I never got tired in body then. Why did You wait so long?”
How many of us have felt that way as we stand trusting the Lord for a promise? We feel the pressure of time, yet it does not disturb Him. The Lord was not limited to Abraham’s strength or resources, and He is generally never early, but definitely never late.
Jesus explained:
“He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who in unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.”
Luke 16: 10
The Lord expects us to walk faithfully and with integrity. These characteristics are developed and proven over time and are critical for divine promotion. Kathryn explained:
Today it seems that so many young folks want to begin at the top rung of the ladder—with instant fame or as a celebrity. I know where I began, from whence I have come, and I shall never forget it.
Most of us never want to have to walk out the season of the small beginnings, where as we surrender to Him and learn obedience, we are made. Looking at Abraham over those many years of waiting and trusting he would become a father, the Lord declared towards the end of his wait:
“(as it is written, ‘I have made you a father of many nations) in the Presence of Him whom he believed- God, who gives life to the dead and calls things which do not exist as though they did.”
Romans 8: 17
While Abraham was still not a father, the Lord declared that HE had made Abraham a father. It was not Abraham that made himself a father, which is the way. But when it became impossible for Abraham to be fruitful and only God could make it happen, God made him a father.
When we were young we were full of energy and could deny our bodies sleep, food, and comfort, and it would tolerate such abuse for a long time. We remember the days when it would have been so much easier from the natural perspective. Kathryn said:
It was true. I didn’t know what weariness really was when I was young. I could ride those buses all night on my way to the next little farm town and then preach all the next day. I never needed sleep. Oh, often I was hungry and sometimes all I had was the price of a bowl of soup and a bread roll—they were five cents then—but I was never tired in body, and I was doing exactly what I wanted to do and loving every minute of it.
But He calls us now, and every time we come into His Presence, He reminds us of His promise. Now notice how it was in the Presence of God in the abiding relationship with the Lord Abraham was being made. It was here the promise grew in him day by day, and even though his body grew weaker and the natural hope faded, the promise got bigger in him.
We too, must come into the Secret Place of His Presence to hear Him speak to us the promise and reveal to us that He is bigger than our weaknesses. For He longs to bring forth the promise for His glory.
Kathryn said:
It was not an audible voice that spoke in answer to my question. I would tell you an untruth if I said that I heard God’s voice, but He did answer me as definitely as if I could see Him and hear His voice.
We need a real encounter with Him in the Secret Place. Kathryn added:
“This is what He said: “Kathryn, had I given it to you then, you would have blown the whole thing.”
Abraham wanted a son, but the Lord wanted a people and a means to redeem mankind. The Lord had to work on Abraham as they walked together until Abraham finally walked in an agreement with the Lord God.
“And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, ‘Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness. And he was called the friend of God.”
James 2: 23
Abraham became the friend of God, and He desires that we, too, would become His friends through daring to believe Him. Kathryn said:
I was stunned for a moment, but I knew exactly what God meant. Exactly! There had to be a growing process first, a time of learning, a time of schooling. But He did not choose to send me to some seminary, nor to a university. I was given the greatest Teacher in the whole world—the Holy Spirit. And when He is your teacher you get your theology straight. Oh, how I studied my Bible. I was so hungry for the Word of God.
The path He chooses to take us down is usually never the one we would choose, but if we will trust Him, He will accomplish His purpose in our lives. We must be faithful to the call He gives, whether it is great or small, and whether it is what we want. Abraham would spend most of his life walking in obedience.
Kathryn explained of her early days preaching to farmers and spending the night in a cold room at a farm. She explained:
How many times I would lie on my stomach on the bed, fully dressed but huddled under the quilts to keep warm, poring over the Word of God, studying it, reading it. I know who was my teacher.
Whatever season we are in, we must be found faithful. Faithful in seeking His face and faithful in abiding in His Word until His Word abides in us. One of the most important relationships we must develop is with the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us as our Helper, our Teacher, and our Comforter. On this earth, we need His help, at times His comfort, and we need Him to teach us the ways of life.
Kathryn said:
I preached salvation throughout Idaho to everyone who would listen. Gradually, however, I began to realize there was someone besides the Father and the Son—there was this Third Person of the Trinity. I felt compelled to know more regarding Him, and as I began searching and studying God’s Word, I could see that divine healing also was in the atonement. You cannot study the Word of God with an open heart and an open mind without realizing that healing for the physical body, healing for the whole person, is in the Bible.
Our relationship with the Lord must grow and become deeper and stronger. If we are to grow we must become truly hungry. Kathryn explained:
All that night I wept uncontrollably. I cried all the next day. I could not stop. I was so hungry and so thirsty for the answers to my questions, and I knew God promised, “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled” (Matthew 5:6). I was confident therefore that God would not mock that hunger in my heart, so I did not give up seeking. I knew the answer was there for me. I was determined to wait on God.
Yes, He will always satisfy the hungry, so may we become more and more hungry for Him. The higher we go, the lower we must become. The greater we seek to be for Him, the smaller we must become in ourselves, and the greater our hunger for Him. What we can do in and by the Holy Spirit in one year will always exceed what we can do in fifty without. If we keep developing that relationship and learning to hear His voice and obey, He will bring us into His high call for our life.
Kathryn explained:
That was when I realized something was happening, that I had tapped some great spiritual resource. I was not sure just how it happened, but I knew the Holy Spirit had something to do with it. Oh, the thrill, the joy, the expectancy that was mine! But there was so little that I knew and understood about this Person of the Trinity.
This relationship with the Holy Spirit, like Abraham’s relationship with the Lord, must define us, separating us, lifting us, and bringing us into His purpose.
Kathryn added:
Sometimes I think of those who try to minimize the power of the Holy Spirit, refusing to accept His person and power. Remember, if Jesus could trust Him, if Jesus staked everything that He had on the Holy Spirit, surely you and I can afford to trust the Holy Spirit. Jesus knew the Holy Spirit, He knew the mighty Third Person of the Trinity to a greater degree than any human being has ever known.”
We must come to such a place of absolute dependence upon and surrender to the Holy Spirit, standing like Abraham fully persuaded not alone can He fulfill the promise, He can do it for you.
